Let's Talk About Sex

Yes, let’s talk about one of the most interesting topics for human beings to talk about: sex. Why is it so damn fascinating? Well, probably because basically everyone has some kind of sexuality. Whether you identify as male, female, transgender, gay, heterosexual, or confused, you have sexuality. Whether you are a virgin, a nun, a lady of the night, chances are that you’ve either participated in some kind of sexual act or have given it some thought. It’s fairly natural for our species. In fact, it’s pretty natural for most species. Sorry amoebas, you’re not included.

Ok, so yeah…sex is everywhere, why am I talking about it? Well, here in Costa Rica, like many countries, including our own, youth can make stupid decisions about sex that result in some undesirable consequences. In my town, it is a huge problem. I have seen more pregnant teenagers in the last year than I have seen in all my years living back home. Granted, I do come from a sheltered world with strict Filipino parents, Catholic schools, and living in the suburbs. Still, I know that there’s a problem when I survey my community about the most common age people believe girls first get pregnant and the answer averages to 14/15 years. It’s also apparent when a teenage girl sitting next to me on the bus pulls out her breast to feed her offspring. It makes me wonder about how many teens are walking around with STI’s since that’s not as obvious.

What’s happening here? How does this happen? If you guessed, “lack of education,” you’re a winner! Sex education here is severely lacking in accessibility and accuracy. Most kids learn about sex from their friends or from experience. This results in a lot of bad information. Myths about sex and pregnancy run rampant. If you have sex for the first time, you will not get pregnant. If the guy pulls out, you will not get pregnant. If you have sex on your period, you will not get pregnant. Kids believe these things, have sex, and nine months later, bring home a brand new human being. At this point, I almost want to channel Coach Carr from Mean Girls and yell, “Don’t have sex or you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it. OK, promise?” Of course, that wouldn’t be effective in terms of prevention, but if they actually did believe that myth, it would serve them a whole lot better than those other ones. So, instead of that, I participated in a Peace Corps workshop about sexuality.

This workshop was different from my other trainings in that I brought two youths from my community. (Well, one is actually an Italian exchange student and the story of how I ended up with him instead of a local who will actually stick around a while is a long convoluted story. Either way, he ended up being a great counterpart and actually wants to implement talks in the high school. The irony that we’re two foreigners trying to help the community of people who refuse to participate in my activities, is not lost on me.) It was three days of activities relating to sexuality in some way. I would say that our time was equally divided between discussions and skits.

There were a lot of skits. Let me tell you, skits about sexuality can sometimes be awkward and embarrassing. For instance, there was one skit in which I was put into a group and we had to create a skit demonstrating sexuality for different types of sexual orientations. My idea was to have people hold hands – that was quickly vetoed. Somehow, people decided that we demonstrate by pretend kissing each other. Heterosexuality, bisexuality and homosexuality would be demonstrated in a few seconds. Because my one friend was about to die of embarrassment (I really actually thought she might faint at some point), I had to take one for the team and participate in the skit. Then I thought I was going to faint. Basically the girl that was supposed to approach me, attacked, put me in a head lock and wouldn’t let go. So aggressive. So traumatizing. I feel traumatized having to relive it right now. I know it was all fake and such, but still…it freaked me out. Firstly, I’m not a huge fan of PDAs, even fake ones, let alone with someone I don’t know. Add to that a super aggressive female whom I definitely am not attracted to. Then you add the factor that I’m at work and this is all happening in front of all my peers and my bosses. So awkward. It also didn’t help that I didn’t understand what was going to happen and that made everything that much more shocking. This is why I don’t do improve or plays. So, so awkward.

Moving on, the taller ended up being pretty successful. Even when we weren’t working, people seemed to be enjoying themselves. Half of us tried out the pool, which was freezing, but entertaining. Volunteers found time to ourselves to compare stories and rant about the problems we face in our communities. When we weren’t doing that, we were spending time with out counterparts. That was actually pretty cool. I don’t think that my Tico counterpart gets out of my community much. Because of this, he was never exposed to things that most of us have lived with our entire lives. For example, we went to Subway for dinner and he didn’t know how to use the soda machine. He never had fast food before. Coming home from the workshop, he excitedly confessed that he took a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap from the hotel room. I had to tell him that they were his to take and that he could’ve taken them all if he really wanted. It was really interesting watching him experience and enjoy modern life in the city. His adventure alone made the trip worth it. I know he learned a lot from the taller, but I also hope that maybe experiencing how life can be in the city will motivate him to work towards a professional career so that he can live an easier life in the future.

I know that my counterpart isn’t exceptional in my community. I’m sure most kids don’t spend much time in San Jose, eating fast food, and staying in hotels. I also know that they can all probably learn a thing or two or a hundred things about sex and sexuality, but for a lack of a good sex education, may never learn. This is a situation in which ignorance is not bliss. It leads to sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted babies. Those unwanted babies then grow up in a community full of parents who had a bunch of unwanted babies, and because of that never got an education and are stuck living the lives their parents did. So, all that I can hope for is that we can bring our new information back to my community and help break the cycle.

Until next time.

P.S. I’m super grateful that even though I had 12 years of a Catholic education, those schools decided to move against the grain and be mindful enough to give us a good sex ed program with a very real world, straight forward, no myths approach. The more you know! *star shoots across the screen*

Nicaragua

Well, it has been quite a while since my last blog. To catch everyone up, I’m happy to report that my trip home in for Christmas was amazing. It couldn’t have been better, except perhaps if had been longer. It was just what I needed. Going home, I was worried that I wouldn’t want to go back, but it wasn’t as heartbreaking as I thought it would be. I came back, had a great New Year’s on the beach with friends and finally had to return to my life at site. Readjusting to life in my community was a bit more difficult than expected. Since school was out, there was basically nothing to do. Even my exercise class died. I can’t say that I wasn’t warned, but it still sucked. Good thing I had a bunch of Peace Corps meetings and activities (helping out at a sports camp, Peer Support Network meeting, and a rock climbing adventure) to keep me occupied and out of town, otherwise I may have gone crazy. School finally started up again, and I jumped on the opportunity to start new projects and get back to work. Right now, I am starting an intramural sports league for the school and an English night class. Both are still in the preparation stages. I am really excited to get them going and have high hopes for their success. Now that you’re all caught up, I figure that I’d write about my adventure in my latest vacation to Nicaragua…

Back in December, my friends and I decided that we would go to Nicaragua around March as it marks a year since coming to country and also everyone just wanted to go to Nicaragua. So, we made a plan, packed our bags and went. Before our trip, I really didn’t know what to expect since everyone in Costa Rica gave me mixed messages about Nicaragua. Some told me that they had been there and it was amazing. Others questioned my decision to go since it is a poor country full of danger at every corner. I went in expecting it to land somewhere in the middle of those two perspectives. Well, I’m going to have to say after being there myself, I would have to side with the former camp. Nicaragua is beautiful.

Costa Rica is beautiful for its nature. Nicaragua is beautiful for its conservation of history and culture. It was an interesting mix of old and new. In Managua, we went to some malls and restaurants where things were incredibly modern. We walked into a mall and we could have been in America. There are malls in Costa Rica also, but they feel different. They feel cluttered and disorganized. Walking into a mall in Nicaragua caused a bit of reverse culture shock, which was a bit confusing since we weren’t anywhere near home. It was obvious that these places were targeted at the wealthier people of Nicaragua.

On the flip side, Nicaragua also has some areas that seem like a step back in time. It was wonderful to go to places where there were still cobble-stoned streets and buildings that maintained the Old Spanish style architecture. The old churches and horse drawn carts only added to the charm. It is the scene you imagine when you picture yourself in Latin America.

So, how did we spend our time? Mostly, we wandered around soaking it all in. We divided our time between having lunches by the lake, bouncing around from restaurants/bars, celebrating a birthday, and karaoke-ing. We also made our way to the beach where we stumbled upon a bunch of Nicaraguan PCVs. What started out as a day trip to the beach ended up being an overnighter to party with a whole new group of volunteers. That was incredibly fun and interesting.

We learned a lot about the differences between the Peace Corps Costa Rica and Peace Corps Nicaragua. Firstly, they have five different programs whereas we have four. They have 2 sectors of health, business, agriculture and English. We have rural community development, community economics development, English, and my program, youth development. (Oh, did I mention earlier that my program is going through changes? Yeah, we are no longer Children, Youth and Families, but are now Youth Development. I like it better.) I think the differences in the programs offered in these countries speak loudly about the differences between the two. Also, we found out that we get paid double what the volunteers in Nicaragua get paid. On the one hand, this makes us feel better. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make much of a difference since everything in Costa Rica costs double what it would cost in Nicaragua. As for living situations, Nicaragua just changed their policy about letting volunteers live on their own. They are now required to live with host families for their entire service. It seems that their volunteers seem to have a lot more restrictions due to safety and security. I’m sure if we spent more time with them, we would have learned a whole lot more about each other, but we only had about 24 hours and believe it or not, we did not spend our entire time discussing Peace Corps. Funny enough, we were able to identify them as Peace Corps by overhearing them gossip about Peace Corps. There are some things that are just universal.

Other random things that I learned while over the border: I realized that I am grateful that where I live, water is pretty reliable. It’s a rare occurrence for it to go out. In Nicaragua, the water went out on us approximately 4 out of the 7 days we were there. Ironically, two days after getting back into site, my water and electricity went out for an entire morning and afternoon. While in Nicaragua, and bathing with a bucket and limited amounts of water, I did learn that all I need to get myself clean and fresh is one gallon of water. Isn’t that crazy? It makes me wonder about how much water we waste by showering. How much water could we save if we all bathed with one bucket of water? I don’t know, and you probably don’t want to find out. I’m not going to lie; I am back to showers and appreciate every moment of it. I learned that the mosquitoes in my site aren’t as bad as I thought. At least here I can see and hear them and hide in my mosquito net if I need to. In Nicaragua, they were like ninjas. My legs will never be the same and I never saw it coming. I also re-learned that I love the adventure of traveling and never knowing what’s coming next. It was a great trip and I can’t wait for my next adventure.

Well, that’s all for now. Sorry about taking so long. I’ll try to be better next time.

A random church in León.

A bum hanging out in the doorway of the church.

A random book store down a random street in León.

Sitting down to a nice dinner just after getting to León.

Allen browsing through some crafts in a park.

Rosie, Maitreya and Melissa chilling in the hammock. There were lots of hammocks.

Tom and Rosie making serious decisions at the grocery store. I'm pretty sure the thought process was this, "How do we get the most from the small amount of money we have collectively?"

This was basically what a good chunk of our trip looked like. A big blur of fun times and me not really knowing what's going, but just throwing my hands up and going with it.

View of Managua, the capital.

The lake that we ate lunch by in Managua.

Other things that happened in January:

All the PCVs and our shadows celebrating our accomplishment at Stephanie and Chris Starr's sports camp. This was one of the best nights I've had as a volunteer. It was also one of the prettiest fields I've ever been in.

Austin and Stephanie Starr setting up the basketball hoop for the sports camp.

Mason (in the hat) teaching Ultimate Frisbee at The Starr's sports camp.

Sunset at the beach on New Year's Eve.