Peaceful Easy Feeling

The world is a funny place sometimes, especially when you work in the Peace Corps. Life goes by moment-to-moment, each capable of being radically different from the next. It spins you around like a top and once you think you’ve got your bearings, you’re not a top, but a yo-yo going up and down, then later a boomerang and after that a paddleball. The role as a PCV seems to be ever changing and while the issues at large remain a constant, circumstances change and with those so do our plans. Yet with amongst all the uncertainty, I have come to realize that even through the turbulence, I have also found my peace. There are times when I am stressed, frustrated and cannot understand why simple ideas refuse to work, and yet I think about where I am in life and what I am doing and feel completely content and satisfied. I’m not sure if this due to living the “simple life” or because I have reached a point where I’ve learned that I can only change that which I can control. Maybe it’s that I know everything that happens here is temporary, everything has an expiration date, but for the moment I have found my peace of mind. The work I do may not be grand, but it is good and that is all I can do. In short, I feel good.

The past few days have had some ups and downs. What else is new, I ask. Well in relation to my exercise class, it turns out the participants aren’t the only ones learning new things. I came to the school one morning and was informed that some of the ladies in my class want to make it exclusively a women’s class. I was told that many of them have husbands who are extremely jealous and if men joined in the class, they would stop participating. This caught me completely off guard and I didn’t have time to filter my reaction. “How’s that my problem?! That sounds like the husbands’ problem!” Oops. Not so graceful. After some funny looks, I catch myself and follow up with, “Well, if the majority of the women feel this way, we can change it. I’m here to serve the community and if it’s important to the community, I can do that. Plus, only one man has ever showed up to our class.” So, I sit there and think for a minute and realize that there may be other reasons to the madness. “Hey, is that really the reason or is it that the women feel uncomfortable in front of the men?” Winner! Response, “Well, yes many don’t feel so self-confident, especially with exercises that they’ve never done before. They would feel better if it was just women. But, there are still jealous husbands.”

OK. Well, I’m not sure what the true reasons are. It’s easier to understand the latter only because self-consciousness seems to be a worldwide issue with women, including in the States. I mean, why else do we have a gym targeted solely to women, aka: Curves? However, I have a hard time grasping the amount of control men have over women here. It may be a cultural difference, but at the same time I don’t think that it’s necessarily correct. Why is it OK that the men all cheat on their women, but when women want to come to better themselves and their health with a bit of exercise, it is a gateway to infidelity and other nonsense? It’s even more astounding that women put up with it. Events like this really make me appreciate how far women have come in the States. Anyway, I decided to work within my cultural boundaries and agree to make it a women’s only class and was pleasantly surprised when 27 women came to my next class. Wow. It was basically double the number of my last class. It just goes to show that you have to listen to the community in order to have a successful project. It is important to take into account what they feel is needed or wanted. If I had decided to get stubborn and stick to my principles, I may not have reached as many people as I did. The fact is that health and nutrition is a major problem here, especially for the women, so the more people I can reach the better. You can’t change a culture, but you can work within it. Lesson learned.

I followed up my week with a weekend in San Jose to meet my friend, Rosie’s, mom who is out here visiting from New York. It was pretty fun. Firstly, it’s always fun to meet people’s families and see where they come from. It’s like finding another piece of the puzzle of what makes a person who he/she is. Secondly, Rosie’s mom hooked us up. Not only did she buy us a round of drinks, she put us up in her little suite, which was nice! Living large in the city is always a great break from the PCV life. The cool thing about hanging out with Rosie’s mom was seeing how proud she was of her. It wasn’t an obnoxious showing or anything like that, but you could tell it was there. Plus, it’s always nice to hear encouraging things from home, especially when things don’t seem so encouraging in site.

So, after our drinks, the PCVs went out for a night of drunken debauchery. Just kidding. There was no debauchery. We found ourselves at another bar, sharing a few drinks and telling stories. This led to a couple orders of French fries that got demolished really fast. We followed this act by following Tom into some kind bar/club place where “hot mess” doesn’t even begin to describe the scene. It was like the Jersey Shore except that people even more ridiculous if that’s even possible. As soon as we sat down at our table, I see a girl with the biggest boobs I have ever seen. They were weird too. They were basically up to her chin. It was like reverse sagging. It was like discovering a new species of people and I could not stop looking. They also had go-go dancers, one male and one female. Whoa there, Seabiscuit! Now that was a hot mess of a show. The male especially was good people watching. His outfit on it’s own is something to comment on. He was wearing a tan suede vest, the tightest white pants I’ve ever seen, knee-high sneakers, and a bandanna underneath some type of hat. Now top that off with the least sexy moves that were sometimes a series of movements choreographed with the girl and you might have some idea of what was going on. The good thing was that it was a very mellow crowd.

We hung out there for the rest of the night, sometimes just sitting and talking, sometimes dancing. We all took turns out on the dance floor. It was during this time, that I sat there thinking how amazing that moment was. It felt like a “St. Elmo’s Fire” kind of moment. Between myself, Tom, Rosie, Melissa, Maitreya and Allen, we are all so different; we come from different places and are doing different things. Yet we are also the same. Nothing feels better than to hang out, forget our problems, stop worrying about the future, and enjoy each other’s company. We can be our goofy foolish selves and nobody minds, in fact it’s probably those crazy quirks that draws us together most. Knowing that we are there supporting each other and encouraging personal growth maybe one of the few things that gets me through my tough days. So I sat there soaking up the moment because I know that these are some of the best days of our lives, and it won’t last forever. We will eventually go home to our normal lives and move on to other great moments, but for now this is what we have and all I can do is appreciate it while it is here.

The next morning, everyone slowly trickled away to go back to site. Maitreya and I stuck around long enough to eat breakfast with Rosie and her mom at Denny’s. I must say, if this is any indication of how things will look like when we go home for Christmas, we will have to brace ourselves. Who knew Denny’s could be the most overwhelmingly delicious restaurant? I had the breakfast burrito and it was superb. I don’t know if it’s because the Denny’s here uses better quality ingredients, or if it’s just that we are no longer accustomed to such meals, but it was amazing. We couldn’t stop eating and noting how amazing it was. I’m pretty sure this was a bit amusing to Rosie’s mom. Who wouldn’t be entertained? Seriously, it’s not very often that you see a kid from New York and two kids from California (2 states with some great culinary options) going to town at a Denny’s like it’s the best food they’ve ever tasted in life.

Alas, it was time to go back to site. I would end right here, but I feel I must remind everyone how much I hate buses. I now have a higher tolerance for riding them and the people on board, but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy them any more than I ever did. So, on the bus ride back, I was sitting in the aisle seat, minding my own business, aka: sleeping, when all of a sudden I feel something pushing up against my knees. I realize that it’s a girl standing next to me trying to squeeze her legs in between my knees and the seat in front of me. Uh, what? Come on! I’m not sure what this was doing for her, but it sure was making me uncomfortable. Wow, how I miss personal space. So, for the next half our or so, I put up with this girl trying to jam her knees into my leg, for reasons unknown to me. I then get on the next bus to make it to my site. This bus is also crowded. Again, I am sitting in the aisle. Again a girl is standing next to me. Again, I am minding my own business. All of a sudden her mother is yelling at her about her ice cream while rubbing my hair. Oh, no she didn’t! She did. She was dripping ice cream into my hair and her mother literally and politely rubbed it in. Haha. I eventually made it back to site a little bruised and battered, but whole and exhausted. Now, I am gearing up for another week. Who knows what will happen next. Come back and find out.